I'm posting my response to 'a gay hockey kids life' whose blog talked about older dudes who forget what high school is like, and that he wants to take a straight pill. Sorry to post a comment to someone else, but I wanted to put my thought here.
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Those of us who are "older dudes" haven't forgotten what high school was like. The homophobic slurs were ever present at my all male military high school. Being called queer or homo was an everyday event for me. I remember the day that it was much worse, when everyone was calling me "homo". Finally at the end of the day someone came up to me and helped. He peeled off the adhesive letters "homo" that someone had slapped on my back hours earlier. I just wanted to die then.
Every night I prayed for it to go away, to be normal, to take a straight pill as you said. But it never came. Now I can say that I'm glad that it didn't. I wouldn't be me if it had. I wouldn't have left my small town, moved to a much better place, gotten the good career that I have, met and married my husband, and had our son.
So yes, high school can be hell. I haven't forgotten, but I did hope that it was better for kids now. And it is some places, including the liberal California town where I now live, it is. The local high school had a gay couple as prom princes a few years ago. For most people, especially gays and lesbians, life gets better after high school. It won't last forever, and you can survive it. And you've got support here to help, Mikey.
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I remember praying each night not to be gay. High school just sucks for too many people.
Is there anybody out there?
12 years ago
Howdy! I just followed your profile link in your comment on Mikey's blog. I'm 46 and my husband and I celebrated our 16th about six weeks ago. I'm so happy for you that you have a son! We don't have any children (not counting doggies and my surrogate son overseas) and I sometimes get very depressed, as a result. There have been times when I've seen two daddies out shopping with their son or daughter and I've had to go to my car and cry for a bit.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I've just added you to my links on my blog, Castoffs. You must be on right now as I see you've added three or four blogs to your list since I started typing this comment.
:-D
I didn't get your comment last night. I posted a comment on your site to tell you that I've had to start a new blog, greenectomorph, since I have internet filter problems with this one at work. Having a child is great but also much more work and much harder than I ever imagined. But if you want to be a father then you can be. We can email offline and discuss it more if you want.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with Mikey on what it's like in high school. I'm not much older than he is and really live less than 100 miles from him. My high school was fine we had a gay/straight alliance. Most kids didn't care if you were gay or not. I'm not out and nobody in high school knows or knew I was gay. If I were I think they would understand better than my parents. I just think it's easier for us kids today than 20 years ago and 20 years for now it will even be easier.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeremy. I sure hope that coming out is easier now. I also try to be as visible as possible as a gay parent. I want all of my son's classmates and friends to know that you can be gay and out and have a family. As much as I don't think of myself as a role model, I guess I want to be a role model for the gay and lesbians kids in my son's class.
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